


Alithos o Kyrios

by kitkatwrites



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Aunts Uncles Cousins oh my!, Do you ever fall in love with your OC’s, Easter, Excessive Use of Greek, Family Gatherings, Food, Greek Easter, Greek!Tsukishima Kei, Ignore me I’m projecting, It’s a rly bad joke but I had to keep it, Listen I know he’s pale as fuck but genetics are an amazing thing, Literally over half this fic is just food, M/M, Mild/Implied Homophobia, Minor tanakiyo, Multi, Not a ton but it is Orthodox Easter so..., Orthodox Easter, Religion, Smoking, The author misses Greek Easter and wrote an entire fucking fic about it, There’s like one sex joke at the end that makes the whole fic worth it, like a fuck ton, minor AkiSae, minor yamayachi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatwrites/pseuds/kitkatwrites
Summary: “So,” Akashi picks at his pork, “what did you want to talk to us about, Kei?”Kei glares at him from across the table as Akaashi grins devilishly back at him.“I was going to save it until after dinner,” he explains, trying to ignore Kuroo and Bokuto who are now very invested in the current conversation.“Why not just tell us now?” Bokuto asks as he swallows a piece of pork without chewing. Kuroo mouthswhat the fuckat him but Kei merely shrugs. To try to understand Bokuto most of the time was like trying to read a clock with no hands.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 12
Kudos: 146





	Alithos o Kyrios

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fic is very niche and only like five people are going to relate to it and that’s okay.
> 
> Here’s a few Greek words or phrases and their translations:  
> Yia Yia: Grandmother  
> Papou: Grandfather  
> Thea: Aunt  
> Theo: Uncle  
> Mamá: Mother  
> Christos anesti: Christ has risen; a greeting during Orthodox/Greek Easter  
> Alithos anesti: Truly, He is risen; a response to Christos anesti  
> Alithos o Kyrios: Truly, the Lord; another response to Christos anesti

The call comes on a Saturday. Kei is walking home after a lecture when his phone begins buzzing with an incoming call. Kei checks it, and sighs. It’s his mother. He doesn’t have a  _ problem _ with his mother, per se, but she can be…intense. He accepts the call anyways.

“Kei!” She yells excitedly into the phone, and he yanks it away from his ear to avoid the incoming static.

“Hello okaa-san,” Kei greets after a few seconds, bringing the phone back to his ear.

“How have you been?” She asks, slightly more subdued.

“I’ve been well. School is going well, so is volleyball,” he answers nonchalantly, kicking at rocks on the sidewalk as he walks.

“And your boys?” She presses.

Kei sighs, staring up at the sky. “Yes, they’re doing okay.”

“Well, I caught one of Koutarou-kun’s matches last week and boy, you sure know how to pick ‘em!”

Kei groans. “Can you stop being awkward and get to the point?”

“So straightforward, just like your father,” she laughs. “Alright, alright, I’ll tell you.”

-_-_-_-

“I’m back,” Kei announces quietly as he walks into the apartment, kicking off his shoes. The apartment is silent, with none of the usual chatter Kei comes home to. Both Akaashi and Kuroo have important tests coming up and they’ve been studying nonstop for over a week now, leaving both Kei and Bokuto starved for attention. Well, Kei could never be starved for attention with Bokuto around, but none of them feel complete without all four of them together.

“In here,” Akaashi calls from another room.

Kei follows his voice to the kitchen, where Akaashi is furiously chugging a mug full of coffee. Out of Kei’s mug, to be exact. It’s an ugly shade of brown, but Bokuto bought it with him in mind, mostly because the word “Kahlúa” is plastered all over the mug in white, tropical font. Kuroo thought it was hysterical and Akaashi didn’t show it, but Kei knew that he thought it was pretty funny, too. Kei himself acted like he hated the mug, but in reality, it was his favorite in the whole house.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Akaashi says, noticing Kei’s observation, “it was one of the only clean mugs.”

Kei hears the underlying message in Akaashi’s voice. “ _ I missed you _ .” He walks closer to his boyfriend and holds his arms out, where Akaashi gladly rushes towards and lets himself become enveloped in Kei’s soft hug.

“Rough day?” He asks softly into Akaashi’s curly hair.

“I’ve got another all nighter, and then a test the day after that. I’m going to sleep for a week when this is all over.”

“Could you cut your week a bit short?” Kei asks, and Akaashi hums questioningly. “Nothing, I’ll tell you guys when Bokuto gets home. Where’s Kuroo?” He wonders, changing the subject.

“Sleeping. His test was today, remember?” Kei vaguely remembers Kuroo mentioning a test earlier in the day, but he wasn’t paying that much attention. Yachi had texted and asked his opinion on some jewelry she was wearing to an event, for some reason. Sure, Kei could be considered stylish, but jewelry? Not his thing. Well, except for Kuroo’s piercing hidden in the webbing under his tongue, but that was a different subject entirely.

He sighs, mostly at the thought of Kuroo’s piercing. “I’m going to go take a nap with Kuroo, my lecture was exhausting.” Akaashi hums, kissing the corner of Kei’s mouth and following him into their bedroom.

Kei opens the door to find Kuroo passed out over the covers, fully clothed, in the center of their bed. When the four of them had finally figured out their shit and started dating, one of the first things they did was move to a new apartment with the biggest bedroom they could find. Once that was done, they bought a California King sized bed, which in Kei’s opinion, was unnecessary. Although, with four full-grown men all over 180 cm sleeping together, space tended to get limited. Every extra centimeter was a blessing.

“I couldn’t convince him to get changed,” Akaashi informs Kei while rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, that sounds like him,” Kei snickers.

At the sound of Kei’s voice, Kuroo stirs. “‘S that Tsukki?” He murmurs sleepily.

“Yeah babe, it’s me,” Kei confirms, “I’m going to change clothes and then hop in bed with you, is that okay?”

“Mhm,” Kuroo makes an attempt at grabby hands, but only succeeds in scrunching the sheets.

“I’ll be there in a second,” Kei laughs. He changes into sweats and one of Bokuto’s sweatshirts that’s slightly too short in the sleeves and torso but somehow looks massive on Kei’s skinny frame.

Crawling into bed, he positions himself behind Kuroo and wraps his arms around the man’s waist. Kuroo hums, content, and leans back into Kei. Akaashi watches them with a smile from his spot at the desk, earbuds playing gentle music. Kei knows that Akaashi can’t focus while studying unless he’s listening to classical music; he wonders, distantly, which song Akaashi is listening to, before drifting off to sleep with his face pressed into the back of Kuroo’s neck.

-_-_-_-

“Hey hey hey!” Kei groans as a giant weight is thrown onto the bed, jostling him and Kuroo. Said giant weight is one of Kei’s boyfriends, Bokuto, who is now pressing kisses all over Kei and Kuroo’s faces.

“Bo what the fuck,” Kuroo grumbles in annoyance.

“I missed you guys!” Bokuto exclaims, already throwing himself at Akaashi who’s begun scratching Bokuto’s head while the man presses gentle kisses behind his ear.

“You need to shower,” Akaashi tells him, only partly paying attention, “you just got home from practice.” Bokuto groans at the prospect of being away from his boyfriends  _ again _ .

“I’ll get started on dinner,” Kuroo volunteers after a yawn, showing off his canines. Rolling out of bed, he scratches his belly and turns to Kei. “Wanna help me?”

“No guarantees that I’ll actually be useful,” Kei jokes.

“Don’t worry, I don’t keep you around for your cooking skills,” Kuroo grins.

“Oh?” Kei raises an eyebrow and slides off the bed, sauntering over to Kuroo. “Then why  _ do  _ you keep me around?” He leans his forearms on Kuroo’s shoulders with a smile.

“Well,” Kuroo grins, gripping Kei’s waist. “Mostly it’s because of your gorgeous a—”

“Kitchen, both of you,” Akaashi interrupts, “I need to focus. Bokuto, I love you, but please take a shower.”

Bokuto gasps and whips his head around to look at Akaashi. “Kaashi! You really mean it? You love me?”

“Why else would I be dating you?” Akaashi asks, still trying to study and converse with his boyfriends at the same time. Kei can tell that his attempt at multitasking isn’t exactly succeeding.

“I dunno about what you guys think, but Bo’s got pretty nice abs,” Kuroo says with a grin.

Bokuto whips his head around to face his other boyfriends. “Really?”

“ _ Out _ ,” Akaashi says firmly. Kei grabs Kuroo’s hand and pushes Bokuto towards the bathroom before leaving the bedroom so Akaashi can finally focus.

The two of them wander into the kitchen where Kuroo begins prepping the shogayaki for dinner. Kei starts cooking the rice because it’s one of the only things he’s good at, and once he’s started the rice cooker, leans back on the counter to watch Kuroo cook.

“Like what you see?” Kuroo asks, grinning.

Kei hums in response. “Who knew someone could look so hot while cooking.”

Kuroo laughs. “You should see me doing laundry,” he jokes.

“I’m fanning myself already,” Kei says with a grin.

Bokuto, a man of many talents that include volleyball, making everyone like him, and fast showers, walks into the kitchen. His hair is down, the gel having been washed out in the shower. He grabs Kei by the waist and begins pressing kisses to Kei’s cheek as a greeting.

“Bokuto,” he sighs, “your hair is still wet. It’s dripping on my shirt.”

“Hmm?” Bokuto leans back, staring at the water droplets on Kei’s shirt. “Oh, sorry Tsukki!” He opens a kitchen drawer and pulls out a kitchen rag, ruffling his hair with it.

“You asshole, I just washed those!” Kuroo scolds, but he’s still smiling.

“Sorry Kuroo,” Bokuto apologizes, also still smiling, “kiss and make up?”

Kuroo rolls his eyes but motions for Bokuto anyways, who moves towards him excitedly. Kuroo wraps his free arm around Bokuto’s waist as he leans down for a kiss, which Bokuto gladly gives. They make out for about thirty seconds before Kei clears his throat loud enough to catch their attention.

“The pork is burning,” he informs Kuroo, who turns around with a swear as he tries to save their dinner. Bokuto laughs as he makes his way back to Kei and presses a firm kiss to his lips.

“Better?” He asks. Kei ruffles his hair, now dry.

“Perfect.”

-_-_-_-

“So,” Akashi picks at his pork, “what did you want to talk to us about, Kei?”

Kei glares at him from across the table as Akaashi grins devilishly back at him.

“I was going to save it until after dinner,” he explains, trying to ignore Kuroo and Bokuto who are now  _ very  _ invested in the current conversation.

“Why not just tell us now?” Bokuto asks as he swallows a piece of pork without chewing. Kuroo mouths  _ what the fuck  _ at him but Kei merely shrugs. To try to understand Bokuto most of the time was like trying to read a clock with no hands.

Kei sighs. “I guess I can say it now,” he trails off.

“Go on,” Akaashi prompts him.

“My mom invited me back home for Easter, and she told me to invite all of you,” Kei says calmly, staring at the center of the table.

“Easter?” Kuroo questions.

“ _ Greek  _ Easter,” Kei clarifies.

“I’m confused,” Bokuto whispers to Akaashi.

“Are you Greek?” Akaashi asks him. Kei nods.

“On my mother’s side,” he confirms, “she’s pretty pale and so am I, genetics are just weird like that.”

“So what would happen, exactly,” Kuroo asks, no longer interested in his dinner.

“Basically we get together with a lot of people and eat food,” Kei explains, “it’s sort of religious but my parents aren’t Christian so we mainly ignore that part.”

“How many people is ‘a lot’?” Akaashi asks, worried.

Kei is about to answer when he pauses, connecting the dots. “Goddamnit,” he swears, “fucking Yachi.”

-_-_-_-

“Yeah, there’s a lot of people in there,” Kuroo says, staring at Kei’s childhood house. There’s a lot of conversations happening inside— _ loud  _ conversations.

“Oh no,” Kei sighs as Akaashi knocks on the door. He’s never been good with crowds, and he already knows that tonight is going to be exhausting. Fun, but exhausting.

Almost immediately, the door is thrown open to reveal a girl much shorter than the four of them with shoulder-length brown hair, a short black dress, and heels bigger than Kei’s palms.

“Kei!” She exclaims, throwing her arms around his waist.

“Hello Irini,” he says in English with a sigh, “Christos anesti.”

“Alithos anesti!” She replies excitedly, pulling back to stare at everyone. “Oh my  _ god _ !” She exclaims, also in English, “you brought your boyfriends!” She yells, shaking Kei’s shoulders which is quite a feat considering how short she is.

“Kei brough  _ what _ ?” Someone yells from further inside the house.

“His boyfriends!” Irini shouts into the house. She turns back to Kei and his boyfriends, sticking out a hand. “My name’s Irini, I’m Kei’s cousin,” she tells them.

Kuroo grabs her hand first, shaking it vigorously. “Nice to meet you Irini,” he says in English with a cat-like grin, “you can call me Tetsurou.”

“I’m Koutarou!” Bokuto exclaims, grabbing Irini’s hand, “my English isn’t very good but I’m happy to meet you!”

Irini laughs. “Don’t worry, my grandparents aren’t very good at it either.”

“Yia Yia and Papou are here?” Kei blanches.

Irini tilts her head. “Did Thea Aliki not tell you?”

“My okaa-san didn’t tell me that any of you were coming,” Kei admits.

“Oh! She must have wanted it to be a surprise,” Irini reasons before turning to Akaashi. “I’m Irini,” she says while sticking her hand out.

“Keiji,” Akaashi tells her, as Kei has a crisis beside him. He’s going to  _ kill  _ his mother.

“Well don’t just stand there, come on in!” She says, shoving them inside eagerly.

“Don’t tell me to come into my own house,” Kei mumbles.

“You don’t even live here anymore, so shut your mouth,” Irini snaps back. Strangely, Kei has missed his cousin and her interesting personality. Slightly. Actually, not that much.

She leads them into the kitchen, which seems to be where most of the action is happening. Kei pauses as his nostrils are filled with various smells and spices. It smells like home.

“What’s that smell?” Bokuto asks, speaking over the conversations already happening, “it’s really good.”

“Lamb,” Kei responds.

“There’s  _ lamb _ ?”

“Any good Greek Easter has lamb, dummy,” Irini grins. “Keti, Kleio, come over here and say hi to Kei’s boyfriends.”

Two more girls turn towards them, one of them with similar features to Irini with longer hair and a blue stripe through it. The other girl has a more angular face with dirty blonde hair, and a nose piercing in her left nostril.

“This is Ekaterini, we call her Keti,” Irini explains, “she’s my sister. The other girl is Kleio, she’s Keti’s girlfriend.”

Keti moves to go and hug Kei, a slightly easier feat for her than her sister because she’s taller. Not nearly as tall as Kei, but tall.

“It’s been so long,” Keti pouts, squeezing Kei’s stomach. “Christos anetsi, by the way.”

“Alithos anesti,” Kei croaks, “ and it’s nice to see you too.”

“Keti, Kleio, this is Tetsurou, Koutarou, and Keiji,” Irini informs them.

“It’s nice to meet all of you,” Keti smiles, slipping an arm around Kleio. They look comfortable together, and Kei wonders how long they’ve been dating, since his cousins never tell him anything.

“Nice to meet you Kei,” Kleio says, leaning on her girlfriend, “Keti’s told me a lot about you.

“All good, I hope,” Kei chuckles. Kleio smiles, but doesn’t answer.

“Where’s Kiki?” Kei asks, changing the subject.

“She’s in the living room with Hara,” Irini responds, “you know how they are.” Kuroo raises an eyebrow questioningly, because no, he doesn’t know.

“Kiki is really shy and Hara is a fourteen-year old boy,” Kleio tells him, as if that clears up anything for anyone.

“Did I hear Tsukishima?” A familiar voice shouts in Japanese.  _ Shit. _

“Oh no,” Kei groans as Tanaka bursts into the kitchen. “What are you doing here?” He asks in Japanese.

“Well, my nee-san is dating your nii-san, and your okaa-san said it would be fine if Shimizu and I showed up too,” Tanaka explains.

“How are you and Shimizu-san? Akaashi asks, because he’s the most polite person Kei knows.

Tanaka’s face lights up. “We’re doing great! We just moved in together which means I get to see her as much as I want!” Tanaka says with a content look on his face.

“Who else is here?” He sighs, knowing he probably won’t like the answer.

“Yamaguchi and Yachi,” Tanaka answers.

“I knew it,” Kei mumbles under his breath. He doesn’t have anything against Yamaguchi and Yachi coming, Yamaguchi has actually been celebrating Easter with them for years, but this was starting to get to be  _ way  _ too many people. Such is the curse of Greek Easter.

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi yells, right on time. He’s already in the kitchen with them which prompts Kei to wonder how he hadn’t seen them before, until he realizes that Yamaguchi has been cooking.

“Hello Tsukishima!” Yachi greets, standing next to Yamaguchi, wearing the jewelry she asked Kei’s opinion on a week ago. “We’re making Spabakopeta!”

“Spanakopita,” Yamaguchi corrects with a smile as he bastes more butter onto the phyllo dough.

“Spanakopita,” Yachi repeats slowly, doing her best to wrap the Greek around her tongue.

“What’s spana-whatever?” Kuroo asks, leaning in to speak into Kei’s ear.

“Spanakopita, it’s a Greek dish,” Kei answers.

“It’s Tsukki’s favorite,” Yamaguchi adds gleefully.

“So you better not screw it up,” Kei growls at his best friend. Yamaguchi simply grins at him like the devil he is and continues to baste the butter on.

“Kei, come say hi,” another voice pipes up. Kei turns to the source of the voice to see his mother calling from the other side of the kitchen.

“Coming,” he sighs, pecking his boyfriends on the lips before making his way over to his mother.

She’s standing next to Kei’s Papou as they converse in Greek. His Papou’s fiddling with the lamb in the oven and wearing an apron that says “Kiss The Cook” in Japanese. Kei is pretty sure it belongs to his mother, who is prepping some dolmades stuffing next to the stove.

His Papou bellows something in Greek that goes completely over Kei’s head and he turns to his mother for a translation.

“He’s talking about the lamb,” she tells him. Ah. Kei should have expected that; he’s always talking about the lamb.

“Aliki!” He bellows again before saying something in rapid fire Greek that his mother responds to at a normal volume, like most humans should.

“He wants to know what you think of the lamb,” she prods Kei.

“Huh?” He asks, even though he already heard his mother. Having a conversation with his Papou is  _ not  _ one of his strong suits.

“The lamb,” she repeats.

“Oh. It looks good, very juicy,” Kei lists off random adjectives that would please his Papou, “I’m sure we won’t have any leftovers.”

His mother translates Kei’s fake praise for her father and his face lights up as he captures Kei in a massive bear hug, trapping Kei’s arms at his sides and possibly breaking one of his ribs. He sets him down, and Kei wheezes as he inhales all the oxygen that had been cut off to him.

“Kei, go say hi to your Yia Yia,” his mother pushes him away from his Papou, “she’s missed you.”

“I can think of a lot of things she thinks about me and none of them involve her missing me,” Kei mumbles under his breath, but goes anyways.

She’s sitting in a chair in the corner of the kitchen, eating olives out of a glass bowl at lightning speed. Kei’s Yia Yia is a lot of things, but fast is not one of them. Well, apparently except when it comes to olives.

“Yia Yia,” Kei says softly, crouching down next to her, “it’s me, Kei. Christos anesti,” he adds at the end for good measure.

“Alithos o Kyrios,” she responds, before muttering something in Greek. Kei catches ‘why’ and ‘boyfriends’ and tries not to assume the worst as he nods along to whatever she says.

“Kei,” his mother calls and he sighs at being pulled around the kitchen like a rag doll. He knew this was coming, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t exhausting.

“Yes?” He asks, standing up and walking back over to his mother.

She hands him a bowl full of dolmades stuffing and a plate full of grape leaves. “Roll these, please. Employ your cousins or brother if you have to.”

Kei sighs. “Okay, okaa-san.” He starts to turn back to the small dining table that they have set up next to the kitchen, but before he can make it, he’s blocked by yet another relative.

“Akiteru!” His Thea Kaiti yells excitedly as she pulls him into a hug.

“Kei,” he corrects her, “Christos anesti Thea Kaiti,” he adds, struggling to breathe and keep the dolmades from falling.

“Alithos anesti,” she responds with a grin. “Are those dolmades? Get the girls to help you, they need something to do.”

“Alright,” he answers, finally freed. Sitting down at the kitchen table, he turns to his cousin. “Keti, can you get Kiki? We have to roll dolmades.”

Keti groans. “I don’t know why they make me roll them, I don’t even like dolmades.”

“Suck it up,” Irini nudges her sister, “you’re twenty one, what happened to all that maturity?”

“You’re twenty one too,” Keti scowls.

“I have a question,” Kuroo raises a hand, looking thoroughly confused. “How are both of you twenty one?”

“We’re triplets,” they answer at the same time.

“Did I not tell you?” Kei asks innocently as Kuroo gives him the stink-eye. “In any case, go get Kiki from the living room.” Keti  _ harumphs  _ and stomps off to collect her other sister.

“What are dolmades?” Bokuto asks, sitting down next to Kei.

“Grape leaves rolled in rice and spices,” Kei answers, already grabbing a grape leaf and a handful of stuffing.

“Ohh, that looks good,” Bokuto says, salivating.

“Everything looks good to you,” Kuroo jokes, leaning on Bokuto’s shoulders.

“That’s because I have a healthy appetite,” Bokuto shoots back.

Akaashi moves to stand behind Kei, who grabs a piece of stuffing and holds it up behind him for Akaashi to taste. Akaashi grabs the stuffing and throws it in his mouth, chewing slowly.

“It’s good,” he smiles after swallowing, “I’m excited to eat it with the grape leaves.”

“Prepare to be disappointed,” Keti tells him sullenly as she walks back into the kitchen, dragging along her other sister.

“Christos anesti, Kiki,” Kei tells her.

“Alithos anesti,” she mumbles, sitting in between her sisters and grabbing a grape leaf. Her hair is much longer than her sisters’, almost reaching her waist. It’s dark brown and incredibly straight, with a tiny glittery pin holding back part of her hair.

“Dolmades aren’t actually that bad, y’know,” Irini frowns at her sister, “you just have bad taste.”

“I sure hope not,” Kleio interjects, and Kiki snorts.

“Keti’s taste is questionable at best, but she has good taste when it comes to women,” Kiki argues.

“How would you know?” Irini smirks, to which Kiki shrugs as she continues to roll a dolmas.

“Is Irini the only straight cousin out of the four of us?” Kei ponders.

“Nah,” Irini starts, “Keti swears that she heard Kiki talking to some guy in Turkey, which I think is bullshit but I hope it’s not true because if it  _ was _ , then mamá and babás would have a cow. They were already kind of weird about Keti getting a girlfriend, but I guess they can’t be weird about it tonight without invoking Thea Aliki’s wrath. Guess it’s a good thing you brought your three boyfriends home, huh?” She smirks, looking at Kei.

“Ignore her, she’s a gossip,” Kei tells his boyfriends.

“No no, keep going,” Kuroo prompts her.

“I’m not talking to a guy in Turkey,” Kiki rolls her eyes, “if I was, I’d tell you two.”

“A likely story,” Irini teases.

“Kei!” Yet another voice calls. Kei groans. Why does every person have to introduce themselves to him? He already knows everyone, just let him sit with his boyfriends in peace. He turns to see his Theo Dimos making his way over, a box of cigars in hand.

“Christos anesti,” Kei sighs as he sets a finished dolmas on the pile.

“Alithos anesti!” His Theo responds enthusiastically, “we’re going out on the patio to smoke, you should join us!”

“You know I don’t smoke,” Kei sighs, “it’s bad for your lungs.”

“Bad shmad,” his Theo rolls his eyes, “one cigar a year won’t kill you.”

“I’ll pass,” Kei insists, “my okaa-san and your wife have forced your daughters and I into servitude.”

“This is nothing,” his Theo insists, “why, when I was a boy, my mamá made my siblings and I roll five hundred dolmades!”

“Are you sure that isn’t an exaggeration?” Keti raises an eyebrow.

“Positive,” he nods his head fiercely, turning to Kei’s boyfriends, “would any of you like to join me for a cigar?”

The three of them begin to grasp for excuses but Dimos merely chuckles. “Don’t feel pressured. I’d ask your father, but he’s on a business trip.”

“Ask Saeko nee-san,” Kei suggests, “she’d probably be happy to smoke with you.”

Dimos slaps Kei on the back so hard he almost chokes and spits all over the food. “You’re a good boy, Kei,” he grins, “oh, but don’t tell your brother I said that.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” Kei wheezes for what feels like the tenth time that night. Dimos vanishes back into the living room to hunt down Saeko, and returns less than a minute later with a very enthusiastic Saeko and Tanaka in tow.

“Nice to see you Kei-kun!” Saeko yells, slapping him on the back as she passes. Akaashi grabs his shoulders to keep him from face-planting into the stuffing as he offers Saeko a greeting.

“Ha! Done!” Keti yells, throwing her arms up and pushing her chair back, “time to wash the smell of grape leaves off of my hands before I puke.” Her sisters follow her out of the kitchen, and Kei grabs the platter of dolmades and carries it into the dining room before leaving to wash his hands. He wanders back to the kitchen table and collapses into the chair with a sigh, resting his head on the table.

“Are you okay?” Akaashi asks worriedly, rubbing his back.

“Yeah, just tired,” he mumbles into the table, “prepping for dinner and dealing with greeting everyone is exhausting. At least the eggs are already dyed.”

“The what?” Akaashi questions.

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

“Should I be concerned?” Akaashi stresses.

“Don’t worry about it.” Akaashi, who looks very worried, decides not to ask any more questions.

“Psitó arní!” His Papou yells from the kitchen.

“Huh?” Kuro asks eloquently.

“Roasted lamb,” Kei translates with yet another sigh, “time for dinner.”

-_-_-_-

“Well, now that we’re all seated,” Kei’s mother shifts in her seat at the head of the table and rattles something off in Greek to her father at the other end of the table.

He nods and grabs his wife’s and Akiteru’s hands, and gestures for everyone else to do the same. Kei eyes his boyfriends from across the table and grabs his mother’s and Kleio’s hands, motioning for them to do the same.

_ Prayer _ , he mouths, and the three of them nod in understanding. Everyone bows their heads as Kei’s Papou begins praying in Greek. Kei understands pretty much none of it. Bokuto is already fidgeting from having to be quiet and still for so long, and Akaashi squeezes his hand to try and get him to settle. Kei’s Papou finally finishes praying, and a chorus of “ámén” fills the table before hands are released as everyone immediately reaches for food.

Keti slaps Kiki’s hands away from the tsoureki and grabs a slice for herself before passing it off to Kleio and then Kei.

“Do we eat the eggs?” Bokuto asks, staring at the red eggs placed in the bread.

“Not these ones,” Kei says, grabbing two slices.

“One at a time,” his mother scolds, but Kei mostly ignores her. He hasn’t had tsoureki in over a year, he’ll take as many slices of the sweet sugary bread as he damn pleases, thank you very much.

Plates are exchanged and passed to Kei’s Papou, who has gained full control of distributing the lamb and forces Akiteru into helping him as Saeko steals lamb off of his plate.

Kei shovels some Greek salad onto his plate with some potatoes, and pours some tzatziki dip onto his plate with pita bread left over from the appetizers. Kuroo stares at the dip questioningly and turns to Kei for an explanation.

“Yoghurt, cucumber, and onion,” he supplies helpfully, “it’s pretty good.” Kuroo shrugs and pours some onto his plate, which gets immediately stolen by Bokuto as he swipes some pita bread into it and takes a bite.

“Mhm! That’s good!” He affirms.

“Bokuto, don’t speak with your mouth full,” Akaashi scolds.

Kei tries to keep up with the conversation, but at that moment, Kleio hands the spanakopita to him and everything becomes background noise. He sets two pieces of his favorite Greek dish on his plate next to the lamb he got at some point, he’s not entirely sure when, and begins shoveling the spinach pie into his mouth.

“What happened to having a small appetite?” Kuroo asks jokingly as he watches Kei stuff his face.

“When it comes to Greek food,” Kei swallows, “all bets are off.”

Bokuto laughs as he pops a few olives in his mouth, chewing once before swallowing. This time, Irini gains his attention from a few seats down to mouth  _ what the fuck _ and Kei shrugs because yet agin, understanding Bokuto is nearly impossible.

There is almost complete silence for a good ten minutes, the only sounds being food being passed around, eaten, or requesting for more. Kei watches Bokuto eat four servings of lamb before he begins stealing it off of Akaashi’s plate, who has begun devouring spanakopita like his life depends on it. Kuroo has begun to dip his lamb into tzatziki, and at one point tries dipping his tsoureki into it. He takes a bite before scrunching his face up in disgust, hesitantly taking another bite, and then shrugging before stuffing the entire slice in his mouth.

Kei huffes out a laugh at their intensity before cutting into a dolmas and taking a bite. Akaashi mirrors his actions before dipping his dolmas into tzatziki dip. Kei isn’t too sure he wants to know why they’re so obsessed with the dip, but he lets it be. It’s hard to do so much thinking while stuffing your face with the best food you’ve had in your entire life.

After eating so much he’s sure he’ll burst if he eats so much as an olive, Kei leans back in his chair and exhales, surveying the table. Kuroo and Bokuto are still going at it, albeit slightly slower than when they started, and Akaashi is finishing off what Kei thinks is his fifth piece of spanakopita. Yamaguchi, Yachi, and Kiyoko have already finished and are talking quietly among themselves, while Tanaka and Saeko fight for dominance via food. Akiteru is cutting slices of lamb as fast as possible to feed the siblings, but he’s beginning to lag behind. Kei stares intently at his Papou. For a second it almost looks like he isn’t breathing (death by food?) but Kei eventually spots the gentle rise and fall of his chest; the man is simply asleep. His Yia Yia is awake and muttering something to herself in Greek while his Thea Kaiti tries to converse with her, and his Uncle Dimos looks close to passing out as well. Hara is playing on his phone under the table, and the four girls next to Kei are conversing quietly among themselves, Kleio’s head resting on her girlfriend’s shoulder. He looks to his mother, who looks back at him, and sighs, opening her mouth.

“Alright, how would everyone like some dessert?”

The table explodes. Kei’s Papou is awake, Hara has already left the table, and Bokuto’s eyes look like they’ve turned into stomachs. Kiki begins clearing plates as fast as humanly possible while her sisters grab the leftovers, and Kleio picks up anything left behind. Dimos has already left the table, promising to bring back ouzo.

“Good job at rousing the troops,” Kei compliments his mother.

“They’re all very simple-minded when it comes to dessert, it’s a very good incentive,” his mother chuckles, “it definitely worked on you and your brother when you were kids.”

“Uh huh,” Kei grabs his plate and follows his mother into the kitchen. Kleio has already started cleaning the plates, and Irini and Kiki are eyeing the desserts like if they look away for even a second, they’ll be eaten.

“Utensils, please,” Kei’s mother asks them as his Thea Kaiti leaves to take coffee orders. Dimos returns with ouzo, and a cheer rings out from the dining room.

“No fair,” Irini whines, “I wanted first dibs on the alcohol.”

“You’ll live,” Keti rolls her eyes and hands a stack of dessert plates to Irini to take to the dining room. Kei follows them, carrying plates of koulourakia and kourabiedes as his mother grabs the plate of baklava and the egg basket.

“Tsukki, what’s ouzo?” Kuroo asks Kei when he walks into the dining room. He sounds mildly concerned, but Kei merely laughs.

“Greek vodka,” he answers, “my mother likes to call it fire vodka. Burns when it goes down.”

“Sounds delightful,” Kuroo grimaces, and Kei can’t help but agree. He’s never been very fond of the drink.

“It’s not actually that bad,” Irini pipes up from where she’s throwing plates at people at lightning speed in order to be the first in line for alcohol and desert.

“That’s because you have an iron stomach and throat,” Kiki teases. Hara has returned from gods knows where and grabs a piece of baklava, shoving it in his mouth without warning.

“Manners,” Keti chides as Yamaguchi, Saeko, Tanaka, and Akiteru do the exact same thing.

Kei glares at Yamaguchi and he smiles at him, powder covering his lips from the kourabiedes. “What?” He asks through all the powder, “they’re good.”

Yachi and Kiyoko reach out hesitantly before grabbing some baklava.

“Is this where we find out what the eggs are for?” Akaashi asks.

“Give it a few more minutes,” Kei tells him, grabbing a piece of kourabiedes and shoving the entire ball-shaped cookie in his mouth, choking immediately. Bokuto slaps him on the back and Kei’s now-mushy kourabiedes almost goes flying across the table to hit his Papou. Thankfully, no such thing happens, although some powder definitely flies onto the table.

His Thea begins carrying coffee into the dining room with Kleio as his Theo pours ouzo into glasses full of water and ice, passing them around the table. Once everyone (except Hara) holds a glass, Kei’s Papou raises his glass and shouts “yamas”! Everyone cheers, shouting “yamas” at their own time and taking a sip. Irini knocks her glass back and drains the entire thing in a few swallows.

“What’s ‘yamas’?” Bokuto asks, eyes wide.

“Cheers,” Kei translates, before holding his glass up to the three of them.

“Yamas!” They shout together before taking a sip.

“Oh that’s strong,” Kuroo wheezes, and Bokuto slaps his back with a grin. At least one of them is enjoying the alcohol.

“I made it myself,” Dimos says proudly.

Yachi looks like she’s about to pass out from one watered down sip, so Saeko steals her glass while she’s not looking and drains the entire thing.

“Ahh! This is good, mister!” She yells, “can I get more?” Dimos laughs good-naturedly and pours her another glass.

Kei sets his glass aside and instead takes a sip of his coffee. It’s bitter, but tastes much better than the ouzo. Akaashi follows suit, sipping at his coffee slowly. Bokuto steals both their glasses and drains them as Kuroo switches between tiny sips of ouzo and huge gulps of coffee, reaching for another treat.

The entire family finally makes their way back into the dining room and sits down to talk over coffee and sweets. After a couple of minutes, Kei’s mother grabs the basket of eggs and holds it up.

“Alright everyone,” she holds up an egg, dyed blood-red, “we’re about to play the egg game. For those of you who don’t know, the egg game is where one person takes an egg and smacks it on top of another’s as they say ‘Christos anesti’. The other person then smacks their egg on top of the first person’s, saying ‘Alithos anesti’. If your egg is unbroken, that means you have good luck for the rest of the year. Each person should take one egg and then pair up. After that, you may begin the game. Good luck to you all.”

Kei and his cousins scramble for an egg as he watches his Theo Dimos pull a wooden egg painted red out of his pocket, which his wife grabs and sticks in her purse, handing him a hard boiled egg instead.

Kei walks around the table to his boyfriends, holding up his egg. “Who wants to smash me?” Kuroo and Bokuto open their mouths, ready to reply, but Akaashi beats them to the punch.

“I’d like to, if you wouldn’t mind,” he smiles, saccharine sweet. Kei smiles back and saunters up to him, pulling a chair out and sitting down. “You can go first,” Akaashi tells him.

Kei shrugs. “If you insist.” He raises his egg, and brings it down as he shouts “Christos anesti!” There’s a  _ crack _ , and Kei holds his egg up to inspect it. Perfect. Akaashi’s on the other hand…

“Well, it looks like you’ve thoroughly smashed my egg,” Akaashi jokes.

“You’ve still got time to smash mine,” Kei jokes back.

Akaashi raises his egg and brings it down with “Alithos anesti!”  _ Crack _ . They pull their eggs apart. Kei’s is still perfect.

He laughs, surprised. “I guess I’ve got good luck. Not that I didn’t have it before with you three.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoyed the fic if you’ve attended Greek Easter your entire life or just learned about it today.
> 
> Yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/gr1lledcheesy) it’s mainly just me being gay and talking about sharks and HQ, but I’d love to have you! Bye for now!


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